HOLY CONVERSATIONS
John 4: 5-21, 21-30
Holy Conversations
Whenever I hear this scripture passage about the Woman at the Well meeting Jesus I feel like I’m listening in on a very private conversation. Holy, deep and real conversations are like that.
Sometimes, they are spoken in hushed tones, shy whispers Or through salty tears. They’re conversations you never forget. And if you allow them in, they change you. They crack open your heart.
Several summers ago, a few family members cousins formed a half circle on East Bay View Beach on Cape Cod. It was low tide. The August sun was sinking in the sky and light shimmered off the water. It was a night for sandy cocktails, storytelling and unexpected revelations.
Sitting with my family on the beach the topic shifted to pronouns and true identity.
We went around the circle and asked one another a question some of us had learned to say recently,
“What pronoun do you prefer?”
I went first and said, I preferred She/Her…meaning when speaking about me someone would know I identified as female and those pronouns fit me.
Sitting next to me in long black shorts and baseball cap was my young 17 yr old cousin, whom we knew as “Kathleen”. She had been dressing like a guy for the past three years.
No one was surprised when she said, “I prefer he/him”
He added, timidly, “And can you call me “Kyle, that’s my new name ?”
After a moment of stunned silence, tears flowed. “Aunt Chris” toppled out of her beach chair and threw her arms around Kyle. Sand flying, we all gathered in closer for hugs.“We love you! We always knew! Thanks for trusting us!
What was new and brave and shared through sandy embrace was this moment of revelation, Kyle’s “coming out” courageously to us.
We later learned that for Him, this was the first time he’d said it out loud ( although he’d known his true identity since childhood)
In the space between Kyle’s request and our listening was a Spirit of deep communion.
To our credit, we kept listening.
For the rest of that weekend, we practiced and tripped over the correct pronoun and names.
I remember saying “Kyle”, felt awkward at first and since has become easier.
Several months ago, this cherished cousin said with pride, “I’m never mistaken for being a girl anymore…or stared at by strangers…
I’m just your average Joe.”
This isn’t meant to be a sermon about transgender rights although that is an important human rights issue, but a story about the posture of love we are summoned to take with those standing on the margins.
And those Holy Moments that shape us as people who practice a faith that along with the Psalmist today honors all of God’s creations.
All of us.
Writes the poet of Psalm 8:
“ You have made us only a little lower than yourself; and crowned us with glory and honor.”
Like the transgender person today targeted for ridicule and stereotyping( as many in the LBGTQ community are), back in Jesus day, it would have been the Samaritan woman at the Well with a reputation who was among those prime targets.
For people who live on the margins,
Exclusion and rejection is often the norm.
For Jesus, these folks were his preferred company.
Our gospel story today centers on a shared encounter that bridges difference and leads to a mutual recognition, revelation and new relationship. It takes place in the heat of day and in a heated time of enmity between Samaritans and the Jewish people.
Back in the late 1st century when John’s gospel was written, there were a lot of arguments over who did worship the right way, etc…Imagine that being a conflict huh?…)
In the opening scene of this text, Jesus ignores stereotypes and gender politics of the day when he says to this woman, “”Give me a drink.” (V7) Who knows why this Samaritan was at the well at noon (not the typical communal time to fill your water jar which is when other villagers would be at the well.)
After Jesus’ declaration, The woman asked a daring question, “How is it that you, a Jews ask me a woman of Samaria.?” (4.9)
And with that scandalous exchange, they are off and running, engaged in the longest conversation Jesus has with anyone in the gospels.
All we know from the text is that these two communities didn’t share things in common. And yet, in this holy conversation they’d soon be sharing ideas about theology and even drinking from the same cup!
At first, these two are so very different and the differences are all we see. But as their dialogue –debate– unfolds, we learn a few other details, that this person has had many marriages (5) and was living with someone not her husband–another taboo in the ancient world, another detail that speaks of the gulf to be crossed between these two.
They talk theology from kinds of water to worship, from wells to the words of being seen for Who And Whose you are. The woman from Samaria is observant and asks all kinds of questions from the literal to that abstract…“Where’s your bucket. Where do you get this living water?” (V 11)
Bit by bit, as in an true conversation, each person revealed their own true colors at the well, The blaze of recognition is palpable. The Samaritan hears and sees the prophet in him, and calls Jesus, “Messiah,” the first in John’s gospel to announce this good news.
Likewise, Jesus, sees the human being in front of him. And watches as she returns to her community and shares her testimony.
Witnessing to the living water of welcome in their midst. Like a pebble thrown into the water, Jesus’ community of witnesses, misfits and disciples grows in ever widening rings.
The circle of community expands as the Samaritan woman with a past is now included
We hear that she left her water jar and ran to invite others to “Come and see” v 29a
The philosopher Martin Buber, called this way of relating “I and Thou”
Rather than treating one another as objects as less than human Jesus models a way of being in relationship That calls out our deepest humanness. That confirms our belovedness in the eyes and heart of God.
“Such humanness requires immense intentionality” writes the theologian Walter Bruggemann . It consists of “daily acts of resistance” and engagement with our world. ( Journal for Preachers, Advent 2018)
The other night, Paul and I watched the newly released documentary “Won’t you be My Neighbor?”
It’s a feel good movie about the remarkable life of Fred Rogers. As a minister, puppeteer, writer and tv producer, Rogers portrayed holy conversations with children around the world. He engaged in boundary crossing and followed the hot headlines of his day from Vietnam to Racial prejudice and more.
In one poignant scene, Mr. Rogers is seen soaking his feet in a kiddie pool after a long, hot day and sees his friend, Officer Clemmons,an African American policeman walking by…Rogers invites him into the plastic pool and they talk like close friends do while splashing their feet side by side.
It was the 1970’s and at the same time that this episode was produced white folks in a particular neighborhood didn’t want black folks swimming in their community pool.
Challenging their status quo, Rogers says to his friend, as he did each episode to different children “I love you just the way you are.”
I wonder, Who will you run into at the well this week?
Who might invite you over to share a cup of connection?
And, How can we cross the arbitrary dividing lines that impede our humanness and community?
The grammar of love itself is fundamentally rooted in one thing: Respect. Dignity. Welcome.
As we consider Woodie Guthrie’s anthem again, let’s remember that “This Land, God’s Neighborhood, was made for you and me.”
For the Kyle’s, the Officer Clemmons of the World, For those thousands trying to cross to safety for the children in our midst.
This land was made for you and me.
Amen.