Rev. Dr. Steven Jungkeit
Texts: Psalm 139: 1-18; “Praying,” by Mary Oliver
A Meditation on Prayer, And on Carleen Gerber’s 50th Anniversary at FCCOL
“Teach us how to pray,” is what the disciples say to Jesus one day in the Gospel of Luke. It’s a curious request, if also an understandable one. Curious because they’ve been with Jesus every day, and one might think they would intuitively know how to pray, if only from direct observation of Jesus himself. But understandable because most human beings come to the activity of prayer feeling wholly inadequate, and not a little self-conscious. It is a simple form of address, and yet it is also one of the most mysterious activities that human beings undertake.
Prayer is something like singing. When we are young, we simply sing, giving no thought as to how our voices might sound. We pay no mind to the skill we possess, or to what others might think of our singing. But over time, many of us go silent, aware of our shortcomings, aware of an audience, aware of most of all, of ourselves. When that happens, an essential piece of our humanity is suppressed, and eventually forgotten. It is the part of ourselves that feels deeply. It is the part of ourselves that is willing to express feelings spontaneously. It is the part of ourselves that is unguarded, vulnerable, in touch with our own creativity. When we sing as adults, we recover some of those lost features of our personhood.
And so it is with prayer. Children often address themselves to God, or to a transcendent Something or Someone beyond them, with a spontaneous and unaffected immediacy. It’s not difficult. It just emerges, like a song. But sometime in adolescence, that immediacy goes away, as critical thought begins to take shape within us. And so we must learn to do what used to come naturally. We must remember what we once did with ease. And so we must say, along with the disciples, “Teach us to pray.” Jesus does exactly that by returning his disciples to a kind of childlikeness. “Our Father,” his prayer begins, a form of address spoken as if by a child.
It is fitting that in her 50 years of ministry here at FCCOL, Carleen has been teaching people to both sing, and also to pray. Her ministry began when she was asked to fill in on the organ for a number of weeks, after which she stayed on as our music director, in effect, teaching people to sing. In time, she transitioned to the pulpit, where, on many Sundays, she has taught us how to pray.
To encounter her prayers again in written form, we come to understand how skillfully the prayers themselves are woven. Carleen’s words are spare, and precise. Her images are always carefully chosen. Like her hero, Emily Dickinson, her imagination extends outward radially – from a fixed center on the Connecticut River, say, to distant places of the globe, and then toward the cosmos, toward God. There is an art to these prayers that is matched by the paintings that Angie Falstrom has contributed to this volume, a dialogue of image and word that is itself a silent form of address, one to the other.
Beneath the composition, though, we can sense Carleen’s person. We sense in her a stillness. We sense in her an attentiveness to the world around her, and a willingness to pay attention. We sense in her a person of deep integrity. We sense in her a calm, and a steady assurance that there is a why to all our living. We sense in her a hope, that beyond the tumult of the week’s events, there is an abiding Love that holds us all.
Prayer, we come to learn, doesn’t have to do with technique, so much as it does with being – to be in such a way that prayers like these can emerge. This requires practice. It requires a long apprenticeship to the majesty and the mystery of the world. Most of all, though, it requires a return to a kind of childlike vulnerability and openness. These are the things that Carleen has modeled for us. These are the things she has taught. Not so much how to do something like pray, but how to be, in order that prayer might emerge. Not so much how to string words together, but how to open a doorway.
When we first shared with Carleen that we would be honoring her on this day, she was characteristically reluctant to have so much attention focused upon her. We did, after all, celebrate her retirement eight years ago! When she realized we were going to do this with or without her consent, she shared with me a paragraph late in her book, found in the acknowledgement section. Focus on this, she said. Here is the paragraph:
“I am deeply grateful for the encouragement this congregation has given me to pursue ordained ministry,
exploring indigenous religions and helping to shape critical and courageous experiential mission engagement work,
exploring new dimensions of mission in dialogue and partnership.
Together we have created new paths for understanding the breadth and depth of the human experience
in a world of kaleidoscopic diversity and beauty.”
When she has prayed, Carleen has opened to us a doorway, not only into her soul, but into our own. That doorway, we learn, swings not only inward, but out, into all the world. Carleen, you have been to us all a partner and a friend. You have been, with us, a fellow traveler and explorer of the human spirit. For me personally, you have been a trusted confidante and colleague. You have been my family, as you have been for many others in this room. Thank you for helping us to recover that part of ourselves where prayers and where songs can emerge. Thank you for ensuring that the doors we open in our prayers and our music swing not only inward, but out. Thank you for ushering us into something approaching the holy.
Rev. Laura Fitzpatrick-Nager
The First Congregational Church of Old Lyme
November 1, 2026
Reflections on Ministry with Rev. Carleen Gerber
I remember meeting Carleen for the first time many years ago when my mom and I were new to FCCOL and I was becoming a student at Yale Divinity School. There was a church meeting in Sheffield that we attended, and I heard Carleen’s voice before I saw her…She was standing up in front of me and speaking out on the unjust treatment of human beings and how we must stand with them no matter what…
Then, as now, the power of her prophetic voice rings with clarity, truth and compassion.
I’ve had the privilege of working side by side with Carleen for the past 8.5 years here at FCCOL. Her mentorship, friendship and ministerial leadership has often been a guiding light for me. Her gifts are multifaceted. She contains multitudes as the poet says and brings her whole self to whatever task is called for. Be it a pastoral prayer shared just at the right time, or filling in on the organ some Sunday, or whether sitting at someone’s bedside holding their hand long into the dark night, or preaching a word we need to hear or coaxing just the right volunteers to plan and implement a church dinner. She’s also exactly the person you want to sit next to on a bus while traveling on a long partnership journey through the West Bank!
The power of her voice, The power of her presence and the power of her heart.
These are the three of the keys to her ministry, to her life’s ongoing work. Carleen’s is a richly lived theology. Rooted in the South African ethic of Ubuntu meaning, “I am because we are!”
Ubuntu is among the teaching words in her spiritual vocabulary. “I am because we are” …her South African spirit infuses her life and heart.
Four years ago, our youth group travelled to Georgia and Alabama to walk in the footsteps of civil rights heroes. I remember Carleen’s suggestion about what to do as we crossed the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma:
Read Wendell Berry’s poem as a prayer for your steps:
Give everyone a candle to hold as they cross the bridge and
Encourage them to keep it lit as long as possible!
Berry’s poem is a prayer, and one Carleen carries in her heart…
“I know that I have life
only insofar as I have love.
I have no love
except it comes from Thee.
Help me, please, to carry this candle against the wind.”
It was raining in Selma that day as I recall, but the kids, all of us, held our candles against the wet wind cupping our hands to protect the tiny flames as we made our way across that holy place walking in the giant footsteps of greatness and bravery.
As a holy troublemaker herself, Carleen encourages us always to keep those candles lit through the darkest of nights and to savor, too, the most glorious of mornings.
Carleen, You are like the biblical sheroes from Genesis, Shiprah and Puah, those midwives of justice who knew just how to use their smarts and strategy to defeat the Pharoah… and to not be afraid to get arrested to do it! You help us to keep fanning the flames of the spirit of ubuntu as we go. With your grace and strength and humility, Carleen, I’m so grateful for your example and ministry, as we keep trying to cross more bridges of injustice together, step by step, candle by candle.
Rev. Rebecca Crosby
The First Congregational Church of Old Lyme
November 1, 2026
Reflection on Rev. Carleen Gerber on her 50th Anniversary
“The Long Beautiful Journey of Love”
I will begin my reflection with a quote from Henri Nouwen. “We choose love by taking small steps of love every time there is an opportunity. A smile, a handshake, a word of encouragement, a phone call, a card, an embrace, a kind greeting, a gesture of support, a moment of attention, a helping hand, a present, a visit – all these are little steps toward love. Each step is like a candle burning in the night. It does not take the darkness away, but it guides us through the darkness. When we look back after many small steps of love, we will discover that we have made a long and beautiful journey.” This reflection is in honor of Carleen’s 50-year-long and beautiful journey of love.
Through the 40 years of knowing Carleen, I have witnessed and experienced her wearing “many hats.” I first met her as the mother of my daughter’s friend, Emily. Five years later, when Ted and I joined the church after our marriage, I became a member of the choir. Carleen at that time was the organist, choir director, and Director of Music. Joining the choir was a welcoming and wonderful experience for me, a family of new friends, and Carleen nurtured all of us with loving leadership, humor, and prayers after each rehearsal. During that time, I admired her as a seminarian as she pursued her path to ordination through the University of South Africa. She inspired me toward the pursuit of a career in ministry. Years later, I joined the staff as an Associate Minister in 2007 and worked very closely with Carleen, always listening and observing as she and David Good quietly taught me how to be a minister. Every time she prayed, I would listen carefully as she wove her thoughts beautifully into a tapestry of love and hope. I witnessed her passion for mission and social and earth justice and that spoke to my heart too. Most importantly, I watched her as she gave pastoral care to so many in the congregation. Carleen has a gift for being present with a parishioner in need of support. She listens, truly listens, and speaks with encouragement that feels as if she is a conduit for the Holy Spirit. I will share one experience when I was the one in need of her care.
In 2008, I had surgery that fused several vertebrae in my back. After several days in the hospital, I came home to the parsonage, where Ted and I were living at the time. We had a bedroom set up on the first floor, and Ted helped me to bed and then headed to the pharmacy to fill my pain medicine. From all the movement and the ride home, I was wracked with pain and alone. Carleen just happened to be at the drugstore when Ted was there waiting for my meds. She raced over to the house to be with me. I remember lying in bed close to tears, and Carleen walked through the door. It seemed as if an angel had come to visit me and reassure me. She sat next to me and told me God was with me, that I would get through this, that everyone was praying for me, that I was surrounded by love. She held my hand and that was what I needed the most. It sounds like a simple act of love, but at that moment it felt like a miracle… there is nothing like the human touch. When I think of Carleen, one of the first images that comes to my head is this moment together in the parsonage. Since that moment when I make pastoral visits, I always hold the parishioner’s hand when I pray with him or her.
I have heard from many of you, your stories of Carleen’s visits when your loved ones were dying, or you were grieving a loss, when you were in the hospital, or wracked with pain in your bed. Carleen was there, giving prayers of encouragement and love to soothe your struggling body or soul and most likely she was holding your hand.
Today we honor her ministry and her newly published book of prayers. I believe her prayers are so insightful and beautiful because of her experience giving pastoral care and her love for the environment. Carleen embodies the understanding that the Earth is a divine creation of love, that unites our body and spirit into one. Walking in the woodlands, kayaking on the Connecticut River and its tributaries, finding peace and solitude in the quiet beauty of our surroundings, carrying in her heart this experience and sharing this love with us through her prayers. This poem by Chief Dan George of the First Nation Tribes reminds me of Carleen:
The beauty of the trees, the softness of the air,
the fragrance of the grass speaks to me.
The summit of the mountain, the thunder of the sky,
the rhythm of the sea speaks to me.
The summit of the stars, the freshness of the morning,
the dewdrop on the flower speaks to me.
The strength of fire, the trail of the sun,
and the life that never goes away, they speak to me.
And my heart soars.
In June 2012, David Good retired after 37 years of ministry. It was decided that instead of hiring an Interim Senior Minister, Carleen would step into this position, and I would be at her side. At this time Simon Holt was hired to relieve Carleen as Director of Music, organist and choir director, because she needed to be a full-time minister, including a constant presence on the search committee that found Steve. What a great choice!
Carleen has been with us for 50 years giving this church her dedicated devotion and hard sincere work –-taking many steps of love that have made her long journey to this point today. We have experienced a lot together and our bond of friendship is strong. Thank you, Carleen, for all that you have given me through the years; you are like a sister to me, and I cherish our relationship. Congratulations on your 50 years! We are all so very proud of you and grateful for all that you have given to this church community!
Rev. Rebecca Crosby
